I am a loan shark. Well, really like a loan seal; I'm more likely to get eaten...
I'm feeling lathargic this morning. I could sit here all day doing nothing. Does one "do" nothing, or is that the lack of doing?
I'm listening to launch, which is cool. I just put Metallica on, which was my favorite band for a few years in high school and college. Justin made me a tape, and I liked them; course I had to hide the tape from my parents. Maybe Metallica is to blame for all my woes; maybe my parents were right?????? It was worth it to hear that bad ass drum beat, guitar, and angry voice. Maybe I'd be okay if Dave Mathews were there to say my life. Maybe my only problem would be weed....sad but true :)
Hey, I'm your life
I'm the one that takes you there
Hey I'm your life
I'm the one who cares
They, they betray
I'm forever there
I'm your only true frien
I'm your dream make you real
I'm your pain when you can't feel
I'm your eyes while your can't see
You know it's sad but true.Hey happy, masterbation music is on....
I'm so damned bored I'm going blind, and I smell like shit.
Peel me off this velcro seat and get me moving; I sure as hell can't do it by myself
....where is my motavation???
Music is one of the few things that I couldn't live without. I love it. I love painting. I like watching someone else smile--like the girl at the end of Magnolia. For a split second, I didn't breathe.
Great, Nirvana is on. Back to feeling like me again. Kurt was reading my mind:
I so happy because today I found my friends; they're in my head.
I'm so ungly, but that's okay, cause so are you.
I wonder if he ever actually found god, or if he was being ironic.
I am so lonely....
and maybe I'm to blame for all I've hurt.
Fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
I am nothing.
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
maybe it's time to take my meds and get my ass over to VO.
Okay, my rant is over. Happier music would be better for my mind. I don't really listen to relaxing, happy music anymore. REM, yes more REM. and Weezer.
I'm putting Weezer on right now...The Sweater Song. These guys are loopy :) If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this string as I walk away....oh no, it gone....I come undone. Whoa, whoa, whoo-oh. Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked.
I have to be something. I have to be. How do others have it so together? They probably don't listen to music or read or be to empathetic. I write and realize how sad I am. And yet, I'm still on my ass instead of showering. Fuck.
