SW's birthday is today ;) We went out to eat and came home and had some fun.

I love a woman who is also SMI who does not take care of herself. I am afraid of losing her to her liver or kidneys or to suicide. I want to protect her, and unfortunately, my protection entails having her live in a glass ball of protection and "helping save" her by telling her what to do. I am sure, 100 times out of 100, this probably never works.

God, only 11 minutes on the exercise bike, eating pasta, taking my meds, and I'm ready to nod off.

I cannot get Johnny Cash out of my head.

My roommate called tonight and told me he's staying another day out. I was glad for the call, but I am still a bit irked about yesterday's complete lack of feeling about calling and telling me he wasn't coming home. I was worried, and the gakked idea still hasn't passed even though he said he did nothing of that sort. I worry for him. I want him to get his probation class out of the way, do his 24 hours of community service, pay his car fines, get his license, go to work and get his GED. He's got the VA paying for it and ready to chip in 1200 monthly for school!

God. I need someone who gives to me more than I put out. I keep doing this to myself. Note to self: I sabotage myself over and over when things get good, quiet, peaceful, etc.

I miss Dan. I miss working. I miss A. even. And Joey. I wish they knew that I didn't do what they said I did. Rumors and/or hate/jealousy ousted me out of the worst paying, but most-loved job I ever had. Being pricked by the needle got me in trouble. I almost wish I'd never said anything, but I am fearful of being infected with something. God Damnit. I loved Dan. He was my best friend here. I though A was awesome, my boss, the clients, and most of my workforce.

I'm trying to quit harping and stop dragging my feet about what to ACTUALLY DO about my life and about the treatment I received after the prick. I just think kharma will make all things a wash.