My cat was constipated, and I hope he's okay now. He goes to the vet again tomorrow at 8 a.m.

I do not know what's up with RS. Does he want/not want to talk to me. Does he want me try to help him or not? He's a mystery to me. I think he's severely depressed and quite emotional. He called two night ago.

My boss moved me to another site that I go to today. My clients at the other site are wondering if I just abandoned them. No. Not really. The other BHTs wonder if I am coming back. I don't think so. I hope my butterflies calm down in my stomach. It's too much for me to handle.

I'm already afraid of teaching in August b/c I know I cannot teach 5 classes and work full time with mentally ill people at the same time. I want to do well at things that I do. But then again, I really, really DO need the money.

And there is still the question of whether or not I am going to move. I miss my sister in San Francisco. But Simon lives there, and that could be a problem. Not like he's a stalker or pscycho--nothing even close to that. I don't want my motives to be confusing for moving. Am I moving towards something or trying to run away from here? It's doesn't have to be one or the other--maybe it's just time to move on. Or maybe I'm scared that things are running normally--I've got work, a few friends, a house over my head, a yard for my cat, and a car that runs.

I think I need more than this--I would like someone in my life. Maybe I just need a hobby or something, but it doesn't feel like that. Something is missing in my life.

I want someone to travel with. Or maybe I just want to travel and meet new people. I want to have a close family. I want to inspire someone and have that person want to inspire me.

I need to ride 10 more minutes on the exercise bike. I ride it 20 minutes at a time once a day. I've taken to riding it again after a long hiatus when I wasn't feeling well. I want to get back into shape. I'm not overweight, but ever since I got my thyroid gland zapped I've been tired and a bit more lazy when it comes to exercising. I think I've got cellulite on my ass, and I'm not heavy. I've gained 15-20 pounds and it went to my ass and upper thighs. I don't know if it's possible to get rid of cellulite even if I would become overly thin again.