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aaaaah so
2012-11-08 @ 9:52 p.m.

I visited Brook in Oakland with Mike. I hadn't seen her in six years and she's had cancer twice this last year and ear problems and broke a bone that wouldn't heal. I was so glad to see her. She met Michael too. She liked her and he liked her and Ben. Ben's cooking was amazing.

I got a kitty!!!!! His name is Victor and his old mommy gave him to me because she has been at The Solution Halfway House for the past six months and Victor is attached to us. We are so attached to him.

I've missed a lot of work over anxiety and stress and our finances could be a whole lot better. I'm broke and getting a small check Friday. My SSDI was low because I got to pay for medicare premiums. They took 3 months out all at one time this month. This is going to be a thin Christmas. I will not abuse my credit card.....I'm already paying back Mike's birthday shaver/clippers.

Obama was re elected to president. I'm glad. I think Mitt Romney was not caring and did not like everyday people who need things like SSDI or rely on welfare or state healthcare. He is so out of touch with money issues of the average Joe. He sends jobs overseas and hurt auto workers while he made money over their hard luck (pay cuts, loss of retirement, benefits, etc). He sucks in my book.

I'm still at working at the department store here a block from me. I missed a lot of work like I said, but I've been there for nearly 2 years and worked there 2 years prior during the holidays. It's almost been 4 years at one place.

Things are getting better and interesting at the same time.
After some detective work that I'm not proud of I found some things out that I did not like about my beloved. I needed to talk about those issues and of him lying/being secretive but he blew up. He gets too angry and he's absolutely explosive and scary. It's out of control. I need to continue to talk about my issues with women, keep reading the big book, and praying. I want to do counselling since I'm a walking fuck up relationship time bomb. Mike is immature and not good with communication. I thought I was, but I am not. I need to be patient, not force the issue, not nag, not drive myself nuts continuing to pry, and try to understand and be tolerant, loving, and forgiving. I just think I should be very important on Mike's list.....I feel I should be #1, when I need to be #3 behind sobriety and God. I need to not get all but hurt just cause he is not celebrating our marriage like he used to and showing his affection with flowers and letters and small gifts.

Overall, things are improving. I need to got to AlAnon and work the steps.

I just found out that there is a live youtube channel. I'm going to watch.


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