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long time no see......and now I'm married :)
2011-11-03 @ 7:28 p.m.
I met Michael back in April of this year when we were both asked to bring a meeting to Maverick House. It was an HA meeting, and I had to pick him up. I was sad to have to tell him that I had a boyfriend (one who I was trying to forgive for cheating on me with Dale, my best friend), but I was taken with him the first time we met. He was dating a chick named Judy, so I really didn't make too much of the whole meeting. I just made a friend.
Fast forward 5-6 months later and we started chatting at our lineage meeting and the carry this message meeting and low and behold, he was no longer with Judy, and I had broken it off with Dennis.
To make a long story short, his sponsor texted a mass text when Mike had an appendicitis, and I texted Mike when he was in the hospital. By this time, I did want to know him better.
A few folks asked me out, but I knew something was occurring between Mike and I. I told him via text that I was flirting with him, and we both kinda just gave in and opened up to each other.
After he got out of surgery and left the hospital he went on vacation to North Carolina to visit his mom. We agreed to hang out when he got back. We did, and from the very first time I looked in his eyes I knew he was the one. Our first date was on Aug. 12, 2011, and we got married Sept. 3, 2011. I am absolutely possitively the happiest woman on Earth. I love him so much. He's kind, giving, loving, funny, reciprical, very attractive, and affectionate. And he is sensitive to my needs and knows that I have schizoaffective disorder and loves me regardless. He makes me feel loved.
He truly loves me and I feel so stinking lucky.
I would have married him the first day he came over. Dharma and Greg style....
We met in recovery, and it makes me feel like god had a plan for my life afterall. I mean, God took something bad (being a heroin addict) and turned it positive.....I met my husband because he was also a junkie and chaired the HA meeting at Maverick with me.
He's such a good man. I am so happy and lucky.
In other news, my grandpa died this year. And my friend John Ramos. It makes me sad to think of them no longer here. I am glad I got to see and talk to Grandpa before he died. I feel guilty that I didn't know John had relapsed and that I didn't try talking to him. I just wish I had said something to him that made him stop using so he wouldn't overdose and die. That was in July.
Grandpa and John are still in my cell phone. I don't have it in me to erase their names and old numbers. I called Johns until his service cut off just to hear his voice.
Mom purchased Grandpa's truck (Uncle Ray inhereted it) and fixed it and is giving it to me. I cannot believe it. I feel so blessed. My car is completely unsafe and is falling apart....no blinkers, no turn signals, no spedometer, it leaks exhaust INSIDE the vehicle in the trunk making it dangerous, there are no reverse lights, and the clutch sticks to the floor. When I can't shift, the car is extremely dangerous. Mom has saved the day by getting the truck for me. I love and appreciate her so much.
I cannot wait for mom to visit for Christmas and get to meet Mike. I want to get her a nice Christmas present. I don't know what to get.
Dad will be driving the truck from Indiana sometime this month. I love Dad and hopes he makes it here safely. I worry about the roads being icy and storms. I love Dad so much.
I am a little worried about Dad's health and how he mentions his will now and then. I don't know why we have to die. I love my parents and do not know what I will do without one or both of them. I am so lucky I had two loving, intelligent, funny and caring parents. God please always keep them safe and in good health. I understand why mom used to pray to keep me safe all the time....now I do the same.
Finally, Mike and I have to file for bankrupsy soon. It's funny, it costs 2500 dollars to file. How is that possible! I wish it were less, but we are saving for it. Maybe in two or three more months we can get it into the hands of a lawyer.
So, that what's been going on for the last year. It's been a while since I have journalled, but I do not have internet until now. Mike's phone is running the internet on my computer. Maybe I'll keep up with my journal again.
Things have been so much better for my life. I love how blessed I am.
On the other hand, my sister (who doesn't acknowledge my existence anymore) had thyroid cancer. Her lymph nodes had cancer too. I cannot believe we are not talking and she has been through so much health troubles. I pray for her too. I love and miss her. I am starting to get used to not talking to her, and that just scares me. She is mad at me, for mistakes I made because of my mental illness and because I was actively using drugs living in complete delusions.
Now, I need to get my tumor checked out on my thyroid. I hope I don't have what Brook had. I should have had my thyroid looked at years ago but just ignored the problem.
That's what I used to do, ignore and pretend about my health issues. That is not responsible nor is it wise. I have been good about going to the doctor, psychiatrist, and now I need to get a doplar and perhaps get a biopsy of my thyroid. I dont' know why the fear just makes me put it off longer and longer. That's stupid I know.
I need to do so many things in the next year. I have so many goals and see our lives changing a lot in the next 5 years.
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