It's like that song by Tori Amos...China. THAT'S THE FUCKING STORY OF MY LIFE. CHINA. GOODBYE DAVID. GOODBYE DAN. GOODBYE DAWN. GOODBYE NATHAN. GOODBYE FUTURE BOYFRIENDS.....YOU HAVE ADVANCE NOTICE THAT I AM UNLOVABLE AND COMPLETELY UNSATISFIED WITH ANYONE I DATE. I wonder about what's shaking in the kitchen???? I wish HE knew that I'm in love. He's so loved. God, please let him know that he's loved by treating him kindly and watching over him. Please be with him and keep him sober. Please fill his life with joy. Everyday I had with him at the Solution meant the world to me. His voice is amazing. His smile melts me. His stories keep me interested. He is smart. He is funny. I swear to god he is perfect. I'm imperfect. I'm not even on his radar. Never have been. I need to just quit thinking about him. I don't know why I feel like I'm in love when I don't know a single thing personal about him. He keeps me at such a distance but pulls me in close. I am giving up.

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