I'm embarrassed to say that I got a job as a manager at Taco Bell, and I have already quit. It was too stressful, and I was afraid of losing all my health benefits.

Now that my mental health isn't wheeling out of control, I don't want to risk losing my medical insurance and start the cycle of losing my mind, using, ending up in the hospital, and then in a halfway house again.

I learned a lot from the halfway house, and my life is getting better. I have my own apartment, and I am able to work odd jobs for extra cash. I am just barely able to make rent, car insurance, groceries, and my phone bill; but I am squeeking by!

I go to meetings everyday, and I have hope again. Occasionally, I get discouraged and bored, but overall I am happier and I am gaining the trust of my friends again.

I chair an HA meeting on Tuesday nights, which is where I am about ready to goto. It's humbling and it's getting me to come out of my shell again. My sponsor says that I need to give more to my community and that she wants me sponsoring someone as well. I must admit to being rather stubborn about not going out of my way to do this, as I am fearful that I would not make a good sponsor. I just don't feel confident enough right now.