Darrel called me and I never am able to communicate his importance in my life. It's nice that he hasn't jumped ship and he says he loves me. I will just take him at his word and go with it. It's super hard to believe that he does. Cyberman's brother called me and wants to get in contact with him. This makes me happy because I know C loves his brother. I hope his brother sees what I do....all the good in him and can get past his illness. I want people to see past mine. I cannot even get past my own. It's hard to believe in me.
I've noticed I put myself down over and over, and I've started to believe it! I've let people hurt me, talk to me like garbage, lived like shit, hurt myself, and I have horrible dreams. I am going to start changing the way I look at myself and forgive myself as I do others. I trust in people who have supposedly done wrong things/wronged society, but I put myself down all the time.
I am going to have a better attitude right now.....
