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Am I still lovable even if I am ill?
2008-11-28 @ 10:38 a.m.

Sweets is saying that he thinks the doctors aren't doing a good job at diagnosing me, but I have not been doing well for so long--since before I starting using street drugs. I used to sleep much worse before the psychiatrists starting helping me. Now, I have periods of rest and normalcy (kinda) for stretches. I feel like they aren't always wrong.
On the other, Sweets is calling my friends, family, does nice things like come to the hospital to visit me and buff/polish/steam clean my car as a thanks and/or surprise.
I still think that the bumper was weird on my car and the back tail light was never busted while I drove it. It makes me think that someone is still messing with my car, but I can't figure out who it would be. I think that the bumper was traded for the one in a junk yard or swapped out because the grill looked different. That's one of the reasons I went into the hospital was because of the different look of my car weirded me out. I felt like people were messing with my car--even my wheels were different. I should look them up since I have the receipt.
Also, I'm calling my state farm agent to get my car shipped back here.
We'll see.
Sweets warned me that this Diamond Towing could be applying for a title and claim the car was abandoned. They were weird asking for my car key and not writing down the mileage on the car. I need to make sure that the title company knows a correct address.
This all sounds wacky and I hope that I get better. I just know that I have hung around some questionable people and wonder if they are a consequence of my poor judgment/gullibility/being mentally ill. I would hope that people really aren't capable of using me or hurting me like that.
I hate being scared. I mean, I was too scared to drink my coffee from Starbucks in California because I thought it was poisoned--I took a small sip and spit it back into the cup! That sounds embarrassing!


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