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Good times.
2006-05-29 @ 5:40 a.m.

Sometimes my mother drives me nuts, today was one of those times. I know that I worry her, but she REALLY tries to put me down a lot. She makes like I am ugly because I was underweight. I admit, that I have been more attractive with more weight, but I have not been without a healthy self esteem for some time now. I get SICK of hearing about my appearance and weight. FUCK YOU for even thinking about it. And now that I'm gaining a healthy amount of weight I feel awkward. Putting on 24 pounds in a short period of time is not healthy, in my humble opinion, no matter how "little" I weigh. I want like to work out and put on muscle mass instead of pure lard. I think that the radioactive chemical I drank which slows down my thyroid sucks. Really, I do. Fuck everyone for making their comments and making me so self conscious that I killed part of a gland! What if I continue gaining weight at this rapid rate? 15 pounds per month is excessive. By August, I will be obese...
StupidFuckingObsessivePeople. Go eat another pizza, sit around on your ass, and tell me that I HAVE A PROBLEM. I killed my thyroid to make you happy. That's my problem. So ShutTheHellUp.

I guess I might have an anger problem as I cannot sleep. I just took a Klonopin, and I've been drug-free for a month now. FuckFuckFuckFuck.

I'm feeling a bit wired. Manic? Maybe? Graves Disease blows. It could be worse.

Now, I am little bitchy. I'm thinking too many thoughts at once. I'm contemplating telling my work to fuck their demotion :) hehee. I am working on a tactful way of letting them know that I will not continue to work for them at their new, lower pay scale.

Anger issues.

And my cat keeps waking me up. And so does my brother. I work 2nd and 3rd shift!!! If I get off of work at 7 a.m. and fall asleep by 9 a.m., I don't want to hear "knock knock" at 11 a.m., or noon, or two, and then again at 7 p.m. when I'm furious and have slept 1 hour. And I called into work sick. Calling into work sick got me a demotion. agh. Anger cycle continues...

I am starting a business. God, I'm too awake for 5:37 a.m. We'll see how it pans out and if I can go anywhere with it. Two other women are interested in working with me after I mentioned it.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds have been playing for the past 2-3 hours in my DVD player. Good music. Good times.

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