It's 3:00 I must be lonely, again. It never stops, or does it?In my mind I am retuning to a time where I used to be happier and healthier. I am still that girl at Purdue making tacos and straight A's. I'm still learning and listening and living. I'm still looking in awe at my kitty all contorted in a box of blankets. I'm walking safely across State Street with the heard heading home to hurry, hurry, hurry as life is quick.
Now, I've been pushed off A mountain and I've stood up and dusted myself clean. I type, type, type to document myself. Tonight I read the past couple of months of entries, and it's hard to believe I am currently typing....it's live, past, and future all happening at once. I know I can return to happier times, and I can take people with me.
It's one heck of a roller-coaster ride to be me, but I do try. I need to quick thinking about trying and illness and pills and how to be happier. I am not unhappy at this moment. I was lonely, but I have written the loneliness out of myself for tonight. I will go to bed without the normal self-defeating thoughts.
