Okay, here it is.....I'm a grumpy monster b/c I am dorking around rather than doing my work, and now I want to call in sick, but I can't afford to miss $24/hour. Agh. $150. yikes.

I'm starting to fuck up. I drank until I threw up and blacked out. Now I can't take my pills, which I can already tell I'm growing moody. Fuck. Goddamnit Felicia WHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOING? "Um, well, I'm fucking up again." "Maybe I should go to Mexico and buy 164 Xanax and give it a go again." Fuck. I do not want these feelings. I feel ill. I'm not right. Oh, I have a spot on my chin that looks like someone hit me with a meat clever.

I'm being a big baby again. I know that sleep will remedy this, but I'm not going to be able to sleep until 8-9 p.m. today. Worse things happen to other people everyday.

I am going to volunteer in Mexico with Julie, my student, who told a story that broke a piece of my heart. A high percentage of children dry every year due to freezing to death. This makes me sad. Everyone has a spare blanket to give.