|
|
|
Previous & Next
invasion of the want for life
2005-05-27 @ 11:58 p.m.
Wow, I find a lot of spots in this diary where I am thankful of Simon, and yet I find just as many or more where I call him names (in the diary) and resent him. I am my own agent, and I am letting this happen to me. I need to plan my life better. I want to be near inspiring, loving, intelligent people.
I would like to feel good and not try to fit in. I'd like to quit telling people about my disease. "What kind of mental defect do have Feli?" Then I say too much. I'm not embarrassed, and some of the people I like most are mentally ill. What is mentally ill?? I think doctors makes it a terminal illness or at the very least chronic. I don't necessary believe in the chronicity of all mental illnesses.
I DO, however, know that the medications and the people helping me in my life has saved me from a life of pain everyday. I used to invision my death, wish for it even. Now, I wear my seatbelt, lock my doors, take care of my health.
It's funny. I'm beginning a new, better life (and yet there are people/things in it that still fuck me up/hold me back) that I look forward to.
I'd have to say that this has been a good day.
I need to sleep more, drink more water, and not worry about what Simon thinks I've done all week. I do everything around the house and for myself spiritually.
I have boundaries that are helping me life better. Yes, today I'm a 7 on a 1-10 happy scale. :)
Previous & Next
Back Up
|
